Cognitive Distortion: Should Statements

What it is and Why it’s Important to Manage It

“Should statements” are a cognitive distortion commonly associated with negative thinking patterns and can be indicative of various mental health challenges, including depression and anxiety. These statements reflect rigid rules and expectations we place upon ourselves and others, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy when these expectations are not met. Let’s explore this cognitive distortion further and its connection to mental health. “Should statements” involve the use of words like “should,” “must,” or “ought to,” which imply a moral or social obligation. They often involve comparing our current reality to an idealized standard or comparing ourselves to others. For example, someone might say, “I should always be productive,” or “I should be as successful as my peers.” These statements set high standards and can be unrealistic or unfair.

When individuals consistently engage in “should statements,” it can contribute to negative thinking patterns and increase stress and anxiety levels. Here are some ways in which this cognitive distortion can manifest in different mental health challenges:

Depression: People experiencing depression might use “should statements” to reinforce feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness. They might think, “I should be happier,” or “I shouldn’t feel this way.” These statements can deepen their depressive symptoms and create a sense of inadequacy or self-blame.

Anxiety: In anxiety disorders, “should statements” often revolve around concerns about future events or perceived threats. Individuals might think, “I should be able to handle this situation without feeling anxious,” or “I should never make mistakes.” These expectations contribute to excessive worry, self-doubt, and a constant fear of failure.

Perfectionism: “Should statements” can be particularly common among individuals with perfectionistic tendencies. They might believe that everything they do should be flawless or that they should always meet impossibly high standards. This can lead to a chronic sense of dissatisfaction, self-criticism, and stress.

Low self-esteem: “Should statements” can negatively impact self-esteem by reinforcing self-judgment and criticism. People might compare themselves to others and think, “I should be as successful as them,” or “I should have achieved more by now.” These comparisons can erode self-confidence and create feelings of inferiority.

Overcoming the negative impact of “should statements” involves challenging and replacing them with more balanced and realistic thoughts. This process is often part of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or other forms of therapy. By examining the evidence for and against these statements, individuals can develop healthier thinking patterns, set more realistic expectations, and cultivate self-compassion. It’s important to note that while “should statements” are common cognitive distortions, they are not exclusive to mental health challenges. Many individuals without diagnosed mental health conditions also experience this type of thinking. Nevertheless, when “should statements” become pervasive and significantly impact one’s well-being, seeking professional help from a mental health provider can be beneficial.

Examples in different scenarios

Managing the distortion

.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills Training

Reaching out for professional support

Sources