Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure. It is often a reaction to stress, failure, or injustice. Anger can range from mild irritation to full-blown rage. It is normal to experience anger. At times, anger is the appropriate response to the actions of others. When managed correctly and kept in check, anger can be an important ally to a healthy adult. But anger has risks, perhaps more than any other emotion. It can alienate people from others and lead individuals to do things they later regret. People who have lasting, extreme anger may find it helpful to explore its causes and ways to manage it with a therapist.

The causes of anger can vary. It may be triggered by external factors such as bullying, humiliation, and loss. Internal factors, such as frustration or failure, can also lead to anger. Anger is not always a reaction to a present circumstance. Sometimes a situation will be perceived through a lens of past experiences. A person may displace and/or project their anger about the past onto the present situation.

Within the IFS approach, anger is one role (or state of consciousness) a proactive manager or reactive firefighter part will take on to protect an Exile from the external world, or protect Self and the system from an Exiled part.

Anger typically has less to do with an event and more with how a person reacts to the event. Anger can be experienced as a secondary emotion. Certain negative thought patterns, body sensations, and emotions, often precede an outburst of anger. These patterns include:

By challenging these thought patterns, most people can reduce their anger.

Anger can help individuals relieve stress by motivating people to solve a problem instead of enduring it. For example, a person caught in a frustrating traffic jam may look for a faster route home. A healthy expression of anger can open up dialogue about negative feelings. In a fight-or-flight scenario, anger can be necessary for survival.

Some people may show anger because they have difficulty expressing other feelings. They may have been taught that certain emotions, such as fear or sadness, are unacceptable. Masking these emotions in the form of anger may work as a defense mechanism. Anger may allow the person to avoid feelings which could damage self-esteem or cause more stress. Yet it can also hide the actual issue at hand, delaying a resolution.

Like many emotions, anger by itself is neither bad nor good. Protective parts that are angry are not good parts or bad parts. They have a positive intent for us. The consequences of anger depend on how a person’s parts react to emotions. This is known as “part activation” in IFS. Some people feel that letting their anger out by screaming or yelling at someone else helps them feel better. But angry outbursts can become a habit. Aggression tends to cause more anger, not less. Moreover, the way other people react to anger can fuel an individual’s stress and may lead to increased anger.

Other individuals may express anger through passive aggressive behaviors. Passive aggression is a subtle attempt to change, stop, or punish an action. For example, a teen who is upset that her family ate dinner without her may “forget” to clean the dishes that night. A person may feel passive aggression is a safer or more polite way to get what they want. However, it is more likely to cause confusion than solve the issue. Assertiveness is one of the healthiest ways to deal with anger. An assertive person will state what they need in a clear and direct manner. They will try to get their needs met without hurting anyone else. Assertiveness is the middle ground between being pushy and being a pushover.

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