James Fitzgerald Therapy PLLC

Definitions

Put simply, “compassion” means “to sympathize,” or “to feel with,” especially to feel the pain of another. We might have a sense that a person is innately compassionate or not, or we might choose not to be compassionate if perhaps we have enough of our own pain to deal with. Over the last few years, compassion as it is practiced in the Buddhist traditions has moved into the spotlight for researchers and meditation teachers alike, as it promises more than just “to sympathize.”

Mindfulness and compassion are deeply interconnected, as mindfulness cultivates a nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment, creating the space for compassion to arise naturally. When individuals practice mindfulness, they develop the ability to observe their thoughts, emotions, and experiences without immediate reactivity, which fosters a greater understanding of their own suffering and the suffering of others. This awareness reduces self-criticism and judgment, allowing for self-compassion and the ability to extend kindness to others with greater empathy and patience. By being fully present, individuals can respond to themselves and others with warmth and care, strengthening relationships and promoting overall well-being. Compassion in this context is defined as the wish or impulse to alleviate suffering in another living being (which is different than to just “feel with”). If the suffering is in oneself, we call the wish self-compassion.

Compassion arises out of the foundation of a general well-wishing and benevolence toward all living beings; this is called loving-kindness. Compassion arises out of loving-kindness as a natural response to suffering or pain. We sometimes use “loving-kindness” and sometimes “compassion.” Please keep in mind that the source of the feeling is the same, but the expression depends on the situation (e.g., if suffering is present or not). Compassion, like mindfulness, is a capacity that we are born with and all know how to access to various degrees, but it can be enhanced, deepened, and strengthened through specific meditation practices and reflections.

Compassion & Empathy

Compassion fatigue and vicarious or secondary trauma have recently become familiar terms in caregiving, health care, and other helping professions. In everyday usage, “compassion” is often treated as if it means the same thing as “empathy.” However, empathy is more accurately understood as an automatic, visceral response to the pain of another being. This “I feel your pain” reaction, though commonly described as compassion in casual English, operates along a different dimension than compassion in the scientific study of the mind.

Research in neuroscience suggests that empathy is deeply connected to what are known as mirror neurons: a group of nerve cells that respond to observed experiences or behaviors by firing in the same regions of the brain as the person or animal demonstrating those behaviors or emotions. In a landmark study conducted in Italy (Di Pellegrino, Fadiga, Fogassi, Gallese, & Rizzolatti, 1992), scientists noticed that when a monkey, whose brain activity was being monitored, merely watched a researcher eat a peanut, its motor neurons for arm and hand movement fired as though the monkey were itself performing the action. This discovery sparked broader inquiries into how the brain “mirrors” the feelings and actions of others, leading to the concept that empathy is in part an instinctive, neurologically driven response.

While empathy’s immediacy can foster genuine concern, it can also lead to a sense of overwhelming distress if a person continuously absorbs the pain of others without any emotional buffer. Studies by Tania Singer and her research team in Germany highlight the distinction between empathy and compassion. Empathy is likened to directly feeling another person’s suffering, which can become so intense that it results in emotional shutdown or burnout. Compassion, by contrast, introduces a protective element—a mindful stance that allows a person to remain open to the suffering of another while sustaining a sense of warmth, stability, and resilience. Singer’s group uses the analogy of a water pump to capture this difference: empathy is like the electrical current that runs the pump, while compassion is the water that flows through it. If the pump runs only on current (empathy), it may quickly overheat and stop working. Compassion, like water, enables ongoing support and prevents burnout.

From a mindfulness perspective, cultivating compassion helps an individual stay present with others’ difficulties without becoming emotionally paralyzed. Compassion involves recognizing suffering, wishing for relief, and responding with understanding and goodwill. Empathy may recognize and even mirror that suffering, but without the added element of compassionate care, empathy alone can exhaust a person’s emotional resources, leading to the very compassion fatigue so often reported in high-stress helping fields. By consciously nurturing compassion—through meditation, reflective exercises, and self-awareness—one can offer genuine support to others while sustaining one’s own emotional equilibrium. Such a balanced approach not only benefits the person in need but also preserves the health and well-being of the caregiver.

The presence of compassion (i.e., the active wish to ease the suffering) will buffer the pain and make it tolerable. Dr. Singer’s team states that “compassion fatigue,” a recognized phenomenon in caregiving contexts, is a misnomer and that it should be called “empathy fatigue” instead. Compassion can be taught and will protect from burnout, which is one of the reasons for the increasing interest in the subject.

The Differences and Similarities of Mindfulness & Compassion

Mindfulness and compassion are related concepts that frequently complement each other in therapeutic and contemplative practices, yet they are distinct in their primary focus and the emotional tone they cultivate. Mindfulness revolves around becoming aware of the present moment in a nonjudgmental way. This means noticing one’s thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations with curiosity and acceptance, rather than attempting to suppress or avoid them. By continually redirecting attention to the present, mindfulness allows the client to observe what arises in the mind and body without getting caught up in it. Compassion, on the other hand, incorporates an active wish to alleviate suffering—both within oneself and for others—and includes the capacity to empathize and to take caring action when needed. While mindfulness can be seen as the foundation that helps the client understand and recognize suffering, compassion provides the warmth and motivation to address and alleviate suffering once it is recognized.

Similarities between mindfulness and compassion include their shared emphasis on genuine presence, acceptance, and understanding of experience without harsh judgment. Both involve a stance of openness to whatever arises in consciousness and a willingness to observe internal processes honestly. Compassion, in many contemplative traditions, is described as a natural evolution of mindful awareness, suggesting that when one is truly present with suffering, it can give rise to a caring response. Research also indicates that cultivating both mindfulness and compassion supports emotional regulation, decreases stress-related symptoms, and fosters healthier interpersonal relationships.

Differences, however, become clear in the emotional qualities and intentions they promote. Mindfulness is often regarded as a more neutral skill, focusing on observing moment-to-moment experiences without attachment or aversion. While it can be warm and accepting, it does not inherently involve extending kindness or taking action to soothe distress. Compassion specifically adds the heartfelt inclination to offer kindness and alleviate discomfort. When a client practices mindfulness, they learn to notice personal or shared pain with clarity. With compassion, they embrace that pain with sensitivity, seeking to reduce or prevent further harm, whether it is directed inward through self-compassion or outward in relation to others. Compassion practices typically include visualizations or reflections aimed at generating warmth, kindness, and an understanding approach toward suffering, complementing the grounded awareness of a mindful mindset.

Together, mindfulness and compassion often reinforce each other in mental health and wellness. Mindfulness helps the client detect early signs of distress and develop insight into unhelpful thought patterns. Compassion supplies the heart-driven motivator to respond supportively. Many therapeutic approaches integrate both elements, such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), underscoring the importance of merging nonjudgmental awareness with empathetic, caring responses. By weaving these approaches together, a holistic system emerges in which present-moment awareness is met with benevolent intention, leading to improved emotional resilience, decreased self-criticism, and greater capacity for empathy in relationships.

Non-Doing vs Doing

Mindfulness can be understood as a receptive and spacious awareness of whatever arises in one’s experience, without immediately engaging in actions or judgments. This stance is sometimes described as “non-doing” because the practitioner is not actively attempting to fix or change anything in the moment. Instead, there is a calm recognition and acceptance of thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and surrounding conditions. From a Buddhist psychological perspective, such open monitoring helps an individual observe how the mind reacts and moves, allowing insight into habitual patterns that might contribute to stress or suffering. This is often called “resting with experience” because the person is, in a sense, gently allowing inner and outer phenomena to appear without interference (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).

In contrast, practices of loving-kindness and compassion, while often grounded in mindfulness, involve directed intention toward the well-being of self and others. These practices recognize that all sentient beings share a deep-seated wish to be free from suffering. Over time, this recognition transforms into a motivation to alleviate that suffering whenever possible. Whether it is offering a kind word, extending a soothing smile, sharing a comforting gesture, or simply holding space with empathy, the practitioner moves from quiet observation to an active form of connection with the suffering of the world. This is sometimes referred to as “embracing experience,” in that the heart moves beyond passive recognition to a willingness to be in relationship with others’ pain. Sharon Salzberg (2002) describes this as cultivating a boundless friendliness that radiates outward.

The difference could be seen as the distinction between simply noticing and being with what is (mindfulness) and actively wishing oneself and all beings well (loving-kindness and compassion). From the standpoint of interpersonal connection and social involvement, mindfulness fosters the awareness necessary to perceive distress accurately, while compassion compels a desire to meet distress with warmth, care, and, when possible, helpful action. On a deeper level, these modes of practice complement each other: a foundation of mindfulness informs compassionate action with clarity and equanimity, whereas compassion practice infuses mindfulness with heartfelt purpose. Together, they help the individual rest in awareness while also extending a kind embrace to both personal and collective suffering.

Cool vs Warm

Mindfulness can be likened to a steady breeze on a sweltering day. It cools the reactivity that often intensifies our emotional or mental disturbances, yet it is not cold or unfeeling. When people become inflamed with anger, jealousy, or obsessive desires, the cooling factor of mindfulness brings some distance from the heat of the moment. In Buddhist psychology, this “coolness” helps settle the frenzy of thoughts and emotions, much like water quenches fire or shade protects from the sun’s harsh rays (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). Through observing, witnessing, and resting with experience, individuals give space for reactive impulses to diminish, rather than allowing them to escalate into harmful words or actions. This is sometimes referred to as the practice of “non-reactivity,” which creates room for wiser, more measured responses.

In contrast, practices such as loving-kindness (metta) and compassion (karuna) are often described in terms of warmth. We speak of a “warm hug,” a “warm smile,” and a “warm heart.” These phrases capture the lived experience of bringing kindness to ourselves and others. Warmth, in this context, is a felt sense of being held or supported by gentleness, empathy, and unconditional friendliness. For example, when someone extends a loving word or gesture to a person in distress, they offer that person warmth and comfort. This sense of warmth melts defensive barriers, allowing for a deeper connection that is imbued with care and understanding (Salzberg, 2002).

Despite these two seemingly different qualities—coolness and warmth—mindfulness and compassion are not contradictory. In fact, they support and enhance each other. Mindfulness provides the clarity, steadiness, and space in which compassion can flourish. With mindfulness as the foundation, individuals see suffering clearly and respond without getting lost in personal reactivity. Compassion, in turn, infuses mindfulness with a softer, more nurturing quality that ensures one’s keen observation does not become distant or aloof. Together, they create a balance where one can stay “cool” enough to observe suffering as it is, yet also “warm” enough to care about the pain and be moved to alleviate it (Hanh, 1999).

In practice, this interplay of coolness and warmth is often experienced as an ongoing dance. One might be mindful of a challenging emotion rising, noticing it without being overwhelmed, and then allow the heart to respond with kindness toward the discomfort. This response might be directed inward—such as offering oneself gentle reassurance—or outward, perhaps through a comforting smile or supportive presence for someone else. Whether it is for personal healing or for helping others in a time of need, the meeting of mindfulness and compassion is the union of clarity and warmth, both of which are essential to true well-being.

Detachment & Sentimentality

Mindfulness and loving-kindness often function as two complementary forces in contemplative practice, frequently likened to the two wings of a bird: mindfulness provides a stable awareness that sees events exactly as they are, while loving-kindness brings a warm-hearted stance that embraces these events with friendliness and compassion. The harmonious blend of both ensures a balanced path, much like a bird needing two wings to maintain steady flight. When mindfulness encounters distress or pain, its clear and steady observation creates the conditions for a genuine compassionate response to arise. Likewise, compassion, when grounded in the wisdom of clear seeing, tends to avoid naïve sentimentality and becomes a robust and effective force for alleviating suffering (Salzberg, 2002).

When either factor is underdeveloped or overshadowed, imbalance can manifest. Without the warmth and humanity of kindness, mindfulness risks becoming detached or indifferent—one might see reality clearly but remain emotionally distant. Conversely, compassion unaccompanied by mindfulness can devolve into mere sentimentality, where over-identification with suffering blinds a person to the deeper truths of a situation. Both extremes hinder genuine transformation. To counter these imbalances, contemplative traditions encourage training mindfulness and loving-kindness either separately or in tandem, emphasizing that the synergy of these two practices yields the greatest benefits (Hanh, 1999).

In practical application, cultivating mindfulness involves developing the ability to notice one’s moment-to-moment experiences—sensations, thoughts, emotions—without clinging or aversion. This nurtures a spacious clarity that reveals how suffering arises and dissipates. Against this backdrop, loving-kindness practice actively cultivates feelings of friendliness and care toward oneself and others, strengthening the resolve to respond compassionately to suffering (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). The two wings thus reinforce and balance one another: clarity prevents misguided benevolence from becoming overly soft, and compassion ensures that clarity remains tender and attuned to the human experience. When joined, mindfulness and loving-kindness allow a person to skillfully navigate life’s turbulence, supporting both personal well-being and a meaningful contribution to collective welfare.

Compassion Focused Therapy

Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), developed by Paul Gilbert, emphasizes the importance of cultivating warmth, understanding, and non-judgment toward oneself and others, particularly for individuals who struggle with high levels of self-criticism or shame. Mindfulness practice complements this emphasis by helping a person become more attuned to internal experiences, such as painful emotions or self-critical thoughts, without immediately reacting to them. In both approaches, the aim is to generate a supportive inner environment that can hold difficult thoughts and feelings in a balanced way. Mindfulness training often provides the foundation of present-moment awareness, revealing habitual mental and emotional patterns. In a CFT context, once these patterns are recognized, the individual can gently shift to a compassionate stance—acknowledging suffering in oneself or others while offering warmth and understanding, rather than harsh judgment.

Another way they intersect is through their shared focus on reducing reactivity. Mindfulness helps a person notice aversive or self-critical mental loops before they spiral out of control, acting as a mental “pause button.” Compassion Focused Therapy then invites the person to meet these challenging moments with kindness and care rather than avoidance or self-condemnation. For example, if someone notices a surge of shame or hopelessness, mindfulness equips them to observe these emotions objectively, and CFT encourages them to respond with an internal gesture of reassurance and kindness. The synergy of the two thus helps create what CFT calls a “secure base” within the mind. This internal base offers both awareness of the present moment (mindfulness) and a sense of warmth, acceptance, and a longing to alleviate suffering (compassion), facilitating healthier emotional regulation and improved mental well-being over time.

Both approaches also encourage interpersonal sensitivity and social connection, recognizing that humans are highly social creatures whose emotional lives are profoundly shaped by relationships. Compassion Focused Therapy highlights how our innate capacity for compassion and soothing interactions can foster healing, while mindfulness fosters an alert presence that allows deeper empathy for other people’s suffering. In everyday life, people who integrate mindfulness and compassion practices can become more patient, more inclined to listen empathetically, and more committed to acting in ways that promote understanding and well-being for themselves and others. This unification reflects a larger theme in psychological interventions that prioritize both awareness (seeing clearly what is happening within and around us) and care (responding with warmth to that awareness). Ultimately, when practiced together, CFT and mindfulness provide a supportive framework in which an individual can develop a stronger, kinder relationship with their own mind and with those around them.

References:

• Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind. New Harbinger.
• Gilbert, P. (2014). The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. The British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 53(1), 6–41.
• Hanh, T. N. (1999). The heart of the Buddha’s teaching. Broadway Books.
• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144–156.
• Salzberg, S. (2002). Lovingkindness: The revolutionary art of happiness. Shambhala.