James Fitzgerald Therapy PLLC

Places we go when it’s beyond us

In the chapter titled “Places We Go When It’s Beyond Us” from Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown explores the complex emotional experiences that arise when people encounter things beyond their immediate comprehension. Brown specifically describes six emotions that surface during these expansive and often overwhelming moments: awe, wonder, confusion, curiosity, interest, and surprise. Each emotion provides unique insights into how individuals navigate experiences that exceed their usual understanding, and each contributes significantly to personal growth and meaningful connection.

Awe emerges when someone encounters something incredibly vast, beautiful, or powerful—something that challenges their existing understanding of the world. This profound emotion often results in feelings of humility and interconnectedness, as people recognize themselves as part of something larger and more significant, realizing that their individual experiences are just a small fragment of a greater collective narrative. Awe can be transformative, shifting perspectives and inspiring deeper reflection and appreciation for life, encouraging individuals to engage more wholeheartedly with their surroundings and fostering a sense of wonder that can lead to personal growth and exploration. Whether it arises from the grandeur of nature, the brilliance of art, or the intricacies of human relationships, feeling awe can open our minds and hearts, prompting us to seek out new experiences that enrich our lives and deepen our understanding of existence.

Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman describe awe as a character strength within their framework of positive psychology, highlighting its importance in individual well-being and personal development. They argue that awe encourages individuals to expand their perspective beyond their own experiences, fostering a sense of appreciation for the larger world and its complexities. This character strength is associated with various positive outcomes, such as enhanced life satisfaction, greater emotional resilience, and stronger social connections. By experiencing awe, individuals often report increased feelings of gratitude and a desire to act in service of the greater good, thereby promoting a sense of altruism and community involvement. Moreover, awe can ignite curiosity and inspire creativity, motivating individuals to explore new horizons and pursue meaningful goals, ultimately enriching their lives and those around them.

Wonder, closely linked to awe, encourages individuals to engage actively with mystery and complexity in the world around them. Unlike awe, which often leaves people feeling speechless or passive and can sometimes be overwhelming, wonder propels people to explore and learn, inspiring a sense of curiosity that ignites the imagination. This active seeking of understanding not only enhances creativity but also fosters a lifelong love for discovery and inquiry, enabling individuals to dive deeper into various subjects, cultures, and ideas. Furthermore, wonder can spark meaningful conversations and connections among people, as shared experiences of marveling at the unknown can help build relationships based on mutual interests and intellectual pursuit. In embracing wonder, we open ourselves to the richness of life’s tapestry, continuously seeking out new vistas of knowledge and meaning that enrich our personal and collective journeys.

Confusion is a natural response when existing knowledge or understanding is challenged or disrupted. Brown identifies confusion as critical for learning and growth, referring to the “zone of optimal confusion,” where moderate confusion stimulates cognitive development and problem-solving abilities. This zone acts as a catalyst for deeper understanding, allowing learners to grapple with complex concepts and rethink their prior assumptions. However, it is essential to strike a balance; excessive confusion can lead to frustration, diminishing motivation and hindering progress. Therefore, it is important to manage confusion effectively, providing appropriate support and guidance to navigate through challenging material. By fostering an environment where confusion is welcomed as part of the learning journey, educators can help students develop resilience, critical thinking skills, and a more profound comprehension of the subject matter, ultimately supporting healthy learning processes.

Curiosity, another vital emotional experience discussed, involves a strong desire to explore and understand new or unfamiliar things. Serving as both a personality trait and a temporary emotional state, curiosity motivates individuals to seek information and clarify uncertainties. By igniting a sense of wonder, it encourages exploration of the world around us, driving people to ask questions, discover answers, and delve deeper into subjects that spark their interest. This innate drive to learn not only fosters a greater understanding of complex concepts but also enhances critical thinking skills, enabling individuals to analyze situations more effectively. Furthermore, it bridges the gap between confusion and knowledge, thereby supporting adaptability and personal resilience in the face of uncertainty. Curiosity also fuels creativity, as it prompts individuals to consider alternative perspectives and approaches, ultimately enriching their experiences and interactions with others.

In the Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy approach, curiosity and creativity are seen as innate characteristics of the Self that play a vital role in healing and personal growth. Curiosity allows individuals to explore their internal landscape without judgment, fostering a deeper understanding of their thoughts, feelings, and the various parts of themselves. This inquisitive nature facilitates a compassionate inquiry into one’s experiences, leading to greater self-awareness and acceptance. Creativity, on the other hand, expresses the Self’s innate ability to innovate and adapt. It enables individuals to find new perspectives and solutions to challenges, enriching the therapeutic process. Together, curiosity and creativity empower clients to engage with their inner dialogues, helping them integrate fragmented parts of their psyche and move toward wholeness. Through fostering these qualities, IFS encourages a nurturing relationship with the Self, leading to transformative growth and healing.

Interest is distinct from curiosity in its sustained nature. While curiosity prompts an initial exploration of unfamiliar topics, interest encourages individuals to maintain engagement over extended periods, allowing them to delve deeper into the subjects that captivate them. This sustained engagement not only fosters greater understanding but also paves the way for the development of expertise and mastery. As individuals invest time and effort into activities or subjects that resonate personally, they often discover new layers of complexity and significance that further enhance their connection and commitment. Moreover, this profound involvement can lead to transformative experiences, where individuals not only acquire knowledge but also cultivate passion, creativity, and a sense of purpose that permeates various aspects of their lives. Ultimately, it is through this lasting interest that individuals can fully realize their potential and make meaningful contributions to their chosen fields or endeavors.

Surprise, described as the briefest emotional experience, occurs when unexpected events interrupt daily routines or expectations. This sudden interruption can manifest in various forms, such as an unanticipated encounter with a friend, an unexpected piece of news, or an unforeseen change in plans. Surprise can be either pleasant or unpleasant, and it typically triggers other emotional responses or cognitive adjustments. When faced with a positive surprise, individuals often experience joy, excitement, or even relief, while negative surprises may lead to confusion, disappointment, or anxiety. Regardless of the nature of the surprise, it momentarily disrupts existing perceptions, creating an opportunity to reassess assumptions and open pathways to new understandings or adaptations. This process encourages flexibility in thought and promotes personal growth, as individuals navigate their responses to the unexpected and learn to integrate these experiences into their broader understanding of life and relationships.

The key takeaway is that acknowledging and fully experiencing these emotions rather than avoiding them fosters deeper self-awareness, richer relationships, and enhanced empathy. Cultivating emotional literacy—being able to name, understand, and articulate these feelings—helps individuals connect more authentically with others and better navigate the complexities of life’s uncertainties. Through the framework provided in this chapter, readers gain valuable insights into emotional experiences that deepen human connection, empathy, and personal growth.