James Fitzgerald Therapy PLLC

Here is a comprehensive list and explanation of 30 self-soothing exercises, organized by 10 evidence-based therapeutic approaches, with three exercises from each modality. These self-soothing practices are not only drawn from respected clinical methods, but are designed to regulate the nervous system, foster emotional resilience, support embodiment, and deepen your sense of safety and connection with Self and others.

Polyvagal Theory (Autonomic Nervous System)

Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory emphasizes the role of the vagus nerve in regulating our physiological states of safety, connection, or threat.

• Vocal Toning (Vagal Stimulation Through Sound)
  Engage in gentle humming, chanting “om,” or singing in a low soothing voice. This activates the vagus nerve, particularly the ventral vagal branch, promoting feelings of safety and calm. Doing this with slow, deep breathing enhances the parasympathetic state, allowing for a more profound sense of tranquility. Additionally, integrating these practices into a daily routine can further boost emotional resilience and foster a connection between body and mind, creating a supportive environment for relaxation and mental clarity.
• Safe Place Visualization
  Recall or imagine a memory of a place where you felt safe and connected—like lying in a sunlit meadow or being held by a loved one. Take a moment to immerse yourself fully in this memory, noticing the details of your surroundings, the sounds you hear, and the scents that are present. Feel the warmth of the sun gently caressing your skin, or the reassuring embrace of your loved one that fosters a deep sense of security. Notice how your body responds to these thoughts and sensations. This process engages the social engagement system and helps shift from sympathetic (fight/flight) to ventral vagal (calm connection) states, promoting relaxation and emotional well-being.
• Orienting Practice
  Gently move your head and eyes around the space you’re in, taking a moment to truly observe your surroundings. Name what you see out loud, like “I see a window, a door, a piece of artwork on the wall… I see a plant with green leaves, a table with interesting books…” This practice not only helps anchor your body in the present but also reinforces a sense of connection to your environment. It provides your nervous system with important cues that you are safe and not in danger, allowing for a more profound sense of ease and grounding in your space.

Somatic Experiencing

Developed by Peter Levine, SE is a groundbreaking body-first trauma therapy that emphasizes tracking internal sensations to renegotiate stuck survival energy. This innovative approach invites individuals to connect with their physical experiences, recognizing how unresolved trauma can manifest in the body. By paying attention to these internal sensations, clients learn to identify the root causes of their distress and work through them in a safe and supportive environment. Combining elements of mindfulness and somatic awareness, SE empowers individuals to reclaim their sense of agency and foster healing from the inside out, ultimately leading to a more profound sense of well-being and resilience in their daily lives.

• Pendulation (Between Comfort and Discomfort)
  Bring your awareness to a place in your body where you feel discomfort. Then shift attention to a place that feels neutral or pleasant. Gently move back and forth between them to help the body learn regulation through contrast. This practice encourages the mind and body to recognize and differentiate between these sensations, providing insights into your emotional and physical responses. As you pendulate between discomfort and comfort, notice any changes in your feelings, allowing both states to coexist and fostering greater resilience in how you manage stress and discomfort in your daily life.
• Self-Contact (Hand Over Heart)
  Place one hand over your heart and another on your belly. Apply gentle pressure and breathe slowly, allowing each exhale to release any tension. This creates a sense of containment and co-regulation, fostering an emotional connection with your inner self. You can silently say to yourself, “I am here with you,” reinforcing your commitment to self-care and presence in the moment.
• Voo Sounding
  Take a deep breath and exhale with the sound “vooo…” from the belly. This vibrational sound slows the breath, engages the vagus nerve, and regulates arousal levels, which can help create a calming effect. By focusing on the resonance of the sound, you can deepen your relaxation and enhance your overall sense of well-being. This technique can be particularly useful in stressful situations, allowing you to reconnect with your inner peace and achieve a balanced state of mind.

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

IFS focuses on healing internal parts through a nurturing relationship with the Self—a calm, curious, compassionate internal presence that serves as an anchor in times of emotional turbulence. This internal dialogue encourages a deep understanding of our various components, fostering acceptance and integration. By cultivating a safe space within, individuals can explore their feelings, confront past traumas, and promote inner peace, ultimately leading to holistic well-being and personal growth. In this process, each internal part is recognized for its unique contributions and challenges, allowing for a harmonious balance between the Self and the multitude of voices that reside within.

• Meet a Soothing Protector
  Visualize or sense an internal protector who helps soothe or distract you during challenging moments. This protector can take on various forms and may evoke feelings of comfort and safety. Get to know their positive intent and the role they play in your inner world. Ask what they need from you to feel appreciated and fulfilled in their task. This fosters internal trust and compassion between different parts of yourself and your core Self, allowing for a harmonious relationship and deeper understanding of your emotional landscape.
• Create an Internal Safe Room
  Invite your overwhelmed or scared parts to retreat to a “safe room” in your mind—cozy, quiet, and comforting—while you, as Self, tend to the system. This unique mental space can be tailored to your preferences, filled with imagery that brings you peace—perhaps soft lighting, soothing colors, or even familiar sounds. Allow yourself to visualize the serenity of this room, as it builds containment and significantly reduces the internal chaos that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Engaging in this practice regularly can help reinforce a sense of safety and stability for your inner self.
• Self-to-Part Lovingkindness Practice
  From the seat of Self, gently say to a part: “I see you. I care about you. You don’t have to do this alone.” This internal dialogue softens shame, isolation, and fear, fostering co-regulation from within. It is essential to create a safe space within ourselves, allowing these parts to express their feelings and needs. Acknowledging their presence can lead to deeper understanding and healing, promoting a sense of belonging and acceptance. By continuously engaging in this practice, we nurture compassion and understanding for all aspects of ourselves.
• Parts Check‑In with Breath of Self: Pause, take a moment to breathe deeply into the heart space, allowing yourself to become fully present in the moment. Acknowledge and name whichever protective part is blended within your experience, recognizing its role in your emotional landscape. With each gentle exhale, imagine warm light flowing from your Self toward that part, creating a soothing and nurturing connection. This process acts as a micro‑dose of un‑blending, facilitating a gentle release of tension and stress. It’s important to remain patient, as this practice typically down‑shifts autonomic arousal within ninety seconds, providing a pathway to greater calmness and clarity in your mind and body.
• Self‑Leadership Journaling. In your journal, date a page, list any dominant parts (e.g., “Anxious Planner, Tired Rescuer”), and from Self, interview each one in writing. What do you do for us? How long have you been doing that? Would you like some help with that role? What are you afraid would happen if you relaxed? The act of scripted dialogue externalizes inner voices and reliably increases Self‑to‑part compassion over three weeks of daily use. This process allows for deeper understanding and insight into the complexities of one’s emotions, fostering a stronger connection between various aspects of the self. As you engage in this reflective practice, you may uncover underlying beliefs and patterns that influence your behavior, paving the way for personal growth and emotional healing. It becomes a sacred space where self-discovery and acceptance intertwine, encouraging a more compassionate relationship with oneself.
• Inner Sanctuary Visualization. Borrowing from the “Path of Self” exercise, the client closes the eyes and walks, in imagination, to a safe clearing where parts may gather around a hearth tended by Self. Here, in this serene and sacred space, the parts can feel safe and comfortable in sharing their stories and experiences openly, without fear of judgment. Ten slow breaths taken in this scene evoke a deep sense of parasympathetic settling, similar to the calming effects observed in laboratory “safe‑place” protocols, allowing for greater relaxation and acceptance of one’s inner landscape. This visualization encourages a profound connection to the Self, fostering healing and integration among the various parts.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT works by identifying and challenging unhelpful thought patterns and replacing them with adaptive cognitions and behaviors.

• Cognitive Reframing of Distress
  Write down the thought that’s fueling distress (e.g., “I’ll always fail”). Challenge it by asking: “Is this absolutely true?” and then reframe it (e.g., “I’ve struggled before and found ways to grow.”).
• Activity Scheduling
  Identify and schedule a pleasurable, calming, or meaningful activity (e.g., tea, a walk, drawing). Doing so offsets depressive inertia and creates moments of self-reinforcement.
• Soothing Thought Records
  Journal a recent upsetting event, the automatic thought it triggered, the resulting emotion, and then counter it with a more balanced thought. This interrupts cycles of catastrophizing and activates a more stable emotional state.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

DBT emphasizes emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and mindfulness, grounded in dialectics.

• TIPP Skill: Temperature Dive
  Hold a cold pack or splash cold water on your face while holding your breath briefly. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system and rapidly decreases emotional intensity.
• Self-Soothing with the Five Senses
  Engage the five senses with soothing stimuli: listen to calming music, light a scented candle, touch a soft blanket, sip warm tea, or watch a slow-moving visual. This builds a buffer against emotional overwhelm.
• Half-Smile and Willing Hands
  Gently lift the corners of your mouth and turn your hands palms-up in your lap. This posture sends calming signals to the brain via facial feedback loops and nervous system pathways.

Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT focuses on transforming core emotional experiences through presence, validation, and emotional expression.

• Emotion Labeling Aloud
  Name the emotion you’re feeling: “This is sadness… This is fear.” Use a soft voice and kind tone. Labeling reduces intensity and supports affect regulation through naming.
• Self-Witnessing with Empathy
  Sit in front of a mirror or close your eyes and inwardly witness your pain with empathy: “You’re doing your best… I’m here with you.” This helps reprocess emotional pain with loving presence.
• Empty Chair Dialogue
  Imagine placing your vulnerable self or a source of distress in another chair. Speak directly to them with kindness, courage, and validation. This exercise helps integrate and release complex emotions.

Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)

Developed by Paul Gilbert, CFT fosters soothing through activating the caregiving system and cultivating self-compassion.

• Compassionate Self Imagery
  Visualize yourself as your most compassionate self—wise, kind, strong. Imagine how they would hold or speak to the part of you that’s suffering. Let that compassionate energy fill your body.
• Soothing Rhythm Breathing
  Breathe in for 4, hold for 2, breathe out slowly for 6. As you exhale, silently say: “May I be safe. May I be kind to myself.” Repeat until you feel a gentle settling in your nervous system.
• Write a Letter from Compassionate Self
  Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of an unconditionally loving inner voice. Let this voice respond to your struggles with warmth, encouragement, and validation.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT emphasizes psychological flexibility through acceptance, present-moment awareness, and values-aligned action.

• Leaves on a Stream Visualization
  Imagine sitting beside a stream and placing each thought or worry on a floating leaf. Watch it drift by without clinging. This detachment reduces fusion with distressing thoughts.
• Values Check-In
  Ask yourself: “What matters most to me right now?” Then engage in one small action aligned with that value, such as connecting, resting, or creating. This grounds you in purpose and direction.
• Self-as-Context Awareness
  Sit quietly and observe your internal experience—thoughts, feelings, urges—like clouds moving across the sky. Remember: you are not your thoughts or emotions; you are the awareness behind them.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

Jon Kabat-Zinn’s MBSR teaches non-judgmental awareness and stress reduction through mindfulness meditation and gentle movement.

• Body Scan Meditation
  Start at your toes and move slowly upward, bringing mindful attention to each body part. Notice sensations without changing them. This enhances body awareness and reduces physical tension.
• Walking Meditation
  Walk slowly and mindfully, paying attention to each step, the feeling of your feet on the ground, the air on your skin. Let your breath guide your movement. This grounds your mind in the present.
• Mindful Breathing Practice
  Sit quietly and place attention on your breath. If the mind wanders, gently return to the inhale and exhale. Anchor your awareness in the rhythm of life within you.

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

MBCT integrates mindfulness with CBT to prevent depressive relapse by shifting automatic thought patterns with awareness.

• Three-Minute Breathing Space
  Pause during the day to ask: “What am I experiencing right now?” Breathe gently. Then broaden awareness to the body as a whole. This skill interrupts ruminative spirals and re-establishes calm.
• Thoughts Are Not Facts Exercise
  When stuck in painful thinking, gently say: “This is a thought, not a fact.” Observe the thought non-judgmentally, label it, and allow it to pass without engagement.
• Compassionate Anchor Word Practice
  Choose an anchor word like “peace,” “home,” or “calm.” Silently repeat this word during mindful breathing, linking it with a felt sense of safety. This anchors the mind when it begins to spiral.

Conclusion

These 30 self-soothing exercises span a rich tapestry of therapeutic modalities. While each comes from a different theoretical orientation, they share a common purpose: helping individuals regulate their nervous systems, foster emotional safety, and reconnect with their inner sources of calm and resilience. These exercises are most effective when practiced regularly and with guidance from a trained professional. Over time, clients often find that these tools not only relieve distress in the moment but also cultivate a more secure, embodied, and compassionate relationship with themselves.

References

• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W.W. Norton.
• Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.
• Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model. Sounds True.
• Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond. Guilford Press.
• Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT® Skills Training Manual, Second Edition. Guilford Press.
• Greenberg, L. S. (2011). Emotion-Focused Therapy: Coaching Clients to Work Through Their Feelings. American Psychological Association.
• Gilbert, P. (2010). The Compassionate Mind. New Harbinger Publications.
• Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2016). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Second Edition: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change. Guilford Press.
• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2013). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Bantam.
• Segal, Z. V., Williams, J. M. G., & Teasdale, J. D. (2018). Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression. Guilford Press.